Manifesting Desired Results Through Strength Of Purpose

I'm typing this from my iPhone.
For 9 years I worked for a man who was quadriplegic. I worked 3 overnights a week with him. Anyway Oct 14 about 330pm he shot himself in the heart and died. Earlier in the year my main job of which I was working 62 hrs a week cut all employees hours to 40 hours a week. That was effectively a 2 week pay check gone. Combined this with Toms death and my income plummeted.

Which brings me to this post. The first income hit I basically absorbed it as overnights is what I needed and working for Tom half the week left few options. Anyway when Tom died it opened the door to new employment.

Typing w/ an iPhone leaves a lot to be desired. Anyway..I decided I would be positive minded that my income would increase and that I would find the perfect situation that would fit all the needs of my life.

One month later I am working 5 nights a week overnights in a home with people who have physical disabilities.

Rising Above Earthly Issues

So I have been thinking about you God. I have been reading that website on near death experiences and it has opened a lot of awareness and reaffirmation for me. Things that are going on right now are typical of life. It is my desire to rise above the turmoil and keep the higher values in mind. All the stuff that is going on right now is just typical life. How I react to them is what ny choice s are.
 
When people are negative to us and get mad at us and want to punish us in their own ways..it is tempting to respond in kind. Sometimes the best thing we can do is stay away from having contact with them.
 
Sometimes people you think care show you they don't in some ways.. Well maybe on some levels they do but I would say those are levels that are not shown very much.
To be continued.

All We Can Do At This Point

All we can do at this point is understand what is going on the possible reasons. We are at a point that we can't change. Or can we in time? I think not. One should look else where to plan for the future. 

One should plan on what to do when this situation changes. Will mother nature step in and clean up our mess? I think so. For a long time we have been warned about what we need to do to reduce the possibility. Oh what our children are going to have to inherit from our generations and our forefathers generations actions.

We are a slave to our industrialized food production system. We are a slave to industrialized dependence on energy produced by oil. We kill for oil and call it the war on terror. 

Do you know that Henry Ford originally envisioned the automotive industry to run on corn oil, or biofuels as it is called today. However shortly there after it is speculated big oil interest had the controversial prohibition enacted that made it illegal to process corn, including the process that would have allowed to make biofuels. Hence the automtive and oil industries were marked in some would say an un-holy union.

That is just an aside to the idea, no the reality that big business is firmly in control of our energy situation. It is the same with food, many many cases of small farmers being forced into slavery of big business. 

This article is not about proving this statements. That is beyond the scope of a single article. No this article is about taking a look at the future and noting what you see. What do you see? Project outwards into time our present behaviors as human beings and what do you see as a race, as a species, what is our just rewards?

Friday The 3rd Of September 2010

I love my grand children. I have found in watching my grand daughters and older grand boy, that when say they get into an argument that I often escalate it by .. well escalating it. Like last night, AB and H were playing with their friends E and B .. (abbreviation) every thing was fine until H tried to take over the CD player that AB and E was playing with.

So I naturally get involved as they were getting physical .. and to me .. I made it worse .. do I blame myself .. not totally .. nor them .. we are all just human .. they are limited by their young ages .. 5 and 8 , and I am limited by my .. level of ability as well. Lets face it .. we are not born problem solvers of young children. We would like nothing more than them to behave lovingly towards each other .. but a lass .. sighh

Anyhow .. I have went down this train of thought before on how to handle it .. because often it is not their behavior that bothers me .. it is how I react to them and behave in a manner that to me is negative .. human .. but negative ..

You see, I do not want to get upset at them .. and when I do... I do not feel it is a particularly effective approach to solving the problems at hand.

I was thinking today when AB and I were at the mall .. well the situation is not important or my point here.. she started mis-behaving when we were entering the parking lot .. pulling my hand instead of just walking peacefully as she has been trained to in parking lots .. so I get some what frustrated and mad and keep walking .. as she pulls . .embarrassing to a degree do to a couple of helpful motorists that stopped so we could pass.. god .. always when you do not want an audience ..

.... anyway my point when everything was said and done ..is I chose to get upset .. it is a choice I did not have to make .. SHE IS 5 .. she is going to mis behave ..  the one thing I can truly choose in this is my own behavior .. i can always choose my behavior that I am comfortable with ...

How Do You Want To Be? Is It Different Than How You Are?

We are not always as we would think we should be. I was about to say .. like to be, but when I think of how I am at times towards others .. and how I don't seem to care at the time.. then I guess I am being at the time how I want to be.

Later like now .. when i review my actions .. i think .. ok.. do something like this .. define how you want to behave .. I think I have done that before .. but ultimately .. every circumstance is different .. and the behavior that I am trying to curtail .. comes out.

I feel a sadness sometimes.. anyway .. getting back .. I know there is certain situations that bring out the worst in me .. that I let bring out the worst in me .. because it is a choice ...life is always about choices.. sad .. sad about a lot of stuff ... sad that I can not stop the pain in the world ..and sad at the pain I have caused.

Now if anyone actually ever reads this blog .. no I am not talking anything crazy .. i am talking about everyday relationships with the people we love .. and care for .. and how we do not always act in the most caring way. I am also talking about people we work with ..I know there are a lot dicks in the world .. sometimes I am a dick.

You probably are too. Aren't you...? We all are ... at times... self centered .. all concerned and involved in our selves.. You know this life is just temporary .. why we are here .. I do not really know .. I mean there are theories that make sense .. but I really do not know the reasoning .. I will say .. life in this realm is .. because it is worth living ..

I know from an intellectual point of view that being nicer to someone .. is good .. now I know that some circumstances do not warrant niceness .. I would just say .. that keeping hate out of my heart .. trying to make other peoples lives better .. more happy .. like giving a treat to someone who can't get one for themselves..

Update to life 2 days before birthday 54

I think that life entails more than just living it. It entails thinking about what we have done, what we do in the process. We make a lot of decisions day to day .. decisions that effect other people. I think in reflecting on how we are .. we think about these things we have decided to do and whether it was a good thing or not.

For one thing, most things we do at the time seem to be a valid action that was decided upon at the time. Well not always.. obviously things decided upon under great duress or under extreme emotions .. well we know almost from the get go that they were not right.

Sometimes we decide upon reflection of our behavior to change. It is my belief that God does not judge either way .. we judge our selves. God does not inspire guilt .. our own conscious does..

I feel sad at times over the conditions that exist and the outcomes of my behavior towards them. Feeling sad and bad is a great motivator to change. I read once that the two great motivators in how we behave is pain and pleasure and that we will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure.

Probably true... anyway .. I am tired now .. if you read this .. it is vague on purpose .. one has to be careful online about what one reveals about ones personal life .. don;t you think?

At Work By Myself Again

Well here I am at work, on Sunday by myself ..again. I am suppose to have a partner in crime here, but more often than not anymore she doesn't come into work for this reason or that reason. I am just suppose to be happy about it. Anyway I'm writing this post in some what of and attempt to vent out negativity. You see I knew she was not coming in yesterday, she informed me of that decision days ago, however.. Oh I just received a text..she fell a sleep, worked her other job last night. . And is on her way. Understandable, anyway se la vie